


a little less sixteen candles, a little more tostitos

by lesbianpatrick



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, Fluff, I wrote another one :), M/M, Telepathy, andy can do magic probably, enjoy this, help me, i guess, soulbonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 17:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6865885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianpatrick/pseuds/lesbianpatrick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I told you two to go bond." Andy says, winking. "And I thought you knew I meant on a spiritual level."</p>
            </blockquote>





	a little less sixteen candles, a little more tostitos

**Author's Note:**

> T HIS IS THE SECOND ONE IN ONE DAY WHY AM I LIKE THIS
> 
> I actually like this one so
> 
> Also pls tell my girlfriend that the children love my peterick crack fics she doesn't believe me
> 
> Enjoy!

Pete and Patrick are fighting over something again. 

Andy sighs and turns to Joe. "What's this one about?"

"I think it's Fritos vs. Tostitos. Which, seriously? Fritos, man." Joe sighs and shakes his head, like this little debate is going to end the world some day. 

"And that matters...why?" Andy asks. 

"I don't know! Patrick doesn't even like Tostitos! He downright hates them! I don't know why the fuck he's arguing for them! And Pete's the one who actually prefers Tostitos anyway!" Joe throws his hands into the air. "I don't know why they do this so much nowadays!"

"Shared repressed feelings are a common reason for friends to fight." Andy says, completely seriously. 

"You're turning into a fangirl, Hurley. I don't like it." Joe sighs. 

"How about this. We throw them into the woods for a night and hope they figure it out." Andy suggests. 

Joe grins. "Now I like how you're thinking. Sounds like a plan."

Andy grins back. "I always have the best ideas." 

Joe nods, but he doesn't even know the whole of it. 

~*~

"Let me get this straight. You're locking us out to _camp_ for a night and giving us fucking _friendship necklaces_." Pete says, raising a dubious eyebrow. 

"The fact that they have identical purple gems doesn't make them friendship necklaces." Andy points out. 

"But they _are_." Patrick crosses his arms. He'd agreed to wear the definitely-not-a-friendship necklace nonetheless, but he still didn't like it. 

"Go bond." Joe says, literally pushing the two out the door. "You've got food and sleeping bags. You can survive."

"Fuck you, too." Pete mutters, stalking away from the bus. 

Patrick sighs and follows reluctantly. 

Andy smirks. "Oh, I'm not even sorry."

"The hell did you do?" Joe asks, raising an eyebrow as he shuts the door after the two one-night campers. 

Andy laughs. "Nothing."

Joe rolls his eyes. "Sure you didn't. So. Movie while those two idiots are gone?"

"Of course." Andy agrees. 

~*~

Patrick is a bit confused. 

Okay, he's a lot confused. 

And that's why he wakes up Pete. 

Pete knows this. 

He does not know _how_ he knows this. 

"Pete." Patrick says, pushing Pete's shoulder. "Pete. Wake up."

"D' we hafta go now?" Pete mutters almost incomprehensibly. 

"No, but. You need to get up." Patrick falls back on his heels, still crouched down. 

"Why?" Pete sits up in his tattered old sleeping bag (Patrick had made sure that Pete got the worse-for-wear one for the night.)

"The thing is, I really want Tostitos right now." Patrick says slowly. 

Pete doesn't exactly get what's wrong with that. "And? Tostitos are definitely the best tortilla chips. I kind of want some too now. I love Tostitos!"

"Exactly!" Patrick says, frowning. "And I _don't_. So why do I really want some right now?"

"Change in taste?" Pete suggests, shrugging. He kind of doesn't really care. "Oh, you know what else sounds good right now? Some-"

"Mild peach salsa with extra cilantro in it?" Patrick finishes. "By the way, I hate that too."

"What the _fuck_." Pete says, finally realizing something is up. That's exactly what he wanted. Patrick would have no way of knowing. And yeah, Patrick does hate that. And Tostitos. Yeah, something's up. 

"Okay. Um." Pete frowns. "There must be some explanation." 

"Okay, maybe that one was just coincidence. But." Patrick points at Pete's arm. "Remember when you tripped on a branch and got that huge cut last night?"

Pete looks at the cut. It's not bad, really, just long. It looks kind of like a snake to him because it's all wavy. "Um...yes?"

"Explain this one." Patrick says, taking off his jacket and extending his arm to reveal _the exact same cut_ running down his arm. 

"Did you trip?" Pete asks, dumbfounded.

"No!" Patrick yells, the sudden outburst seeming to startle even him. "And even then, it wouldn't look exactly the same, would it?"

"Huh. Well, it could be-" Pete begins. 

Without a word, Patrick grabs a twig off the ground and scrapes it down his other arm. Pete watches in horror as an identical harmless-but-visible scratch appears on his own arm. He even feels a twinge of pain. 

"Oh. Okay, I can't explain that one." Pete says softly. 

Patrick groans and finally just sits down, sliding his jacket back on as he does. "Andy."

Pete's about to ask what Patrick means by that, but he somehow _knows_ what Patrick means by that. It's almost as creepy as the twin injuries. 

"The necklaces." He says. 

Patrick nods. "Holy shit. I didn't think this was what Andy meant by 'bonding'."

"I'm going to die." Pete announces. 

"No you aren't." Patrick says, pulling Pete up by the arm. Pete whines when Patrick pulls so hard it hurts, and Patrick jumps back, rubbing his own arm. Pete has to try not to laugh at Patrick inadvertently hurting himself. 

"Fuck." He mutters. "I forgot about that. Okay."

Pete groans and gets up on his own. "We're gonna confront Andy, right?"

Patrick nods.

Pete thinks this is crazy. 

"It's not that crazy, maybe." Patrick says. 

Key word: Pete _thinks_ this is crazy. 

He wants to punch something. Like a tree. Or a wall.

Patrick's eyes widen. "Don't do that."

"You. Are. _Reading my mind_." Pete tells Patrick, eyeing him warily. 

Patrick raises an eyebrow. _And you aren't reading mine?_

"Fair enough." Pete grits his teeth. He is going to _kill_ Andy.

"Don't do that, we kind of need a drummer." Patrick says. 

Pete storms off in the direction of the bus, purposefully walking through as many thorns as possible. Patrick cries out in a mixture of pain and surprise and then runs after Pete, loosely gathering the two sleeping bags in his arms as he runs. 

_God damn it, Pete, that hurts._

Pete ignores him. He ignores everything. He slams open the bus door and locks eyes with Andy. 

"What the fuck did you do." He hisses. 

Andy gives him a suspicious smile. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Patrick appears behind Pete, breathing heavily. "I can't run that fast, okay?"

Pete ignores him again, instead choosing to still target Andy. "Andy, what. Did. You. Do." 

"I told you two to go bond." Andy says, winking. "And I thought you knew I meant on a spiritual level."

Pete punches him. He punches back. 

Pete and Patrick both simultaneously cry out in pain. 

"Andy!" Patrick yells, rubbing his eye that really, logically, should not feel like it's been punched. And yet. "That hurt!"

"Hm." Andy shrugs and turns back to whatever book he was reading. Pete hadn't noticed it when he walked in. 

Joe pokes his head in. "Oh, you two are back? How was the camping?"

Patrick throws a sleeping bag at him. 

"Huh. Okay. I guess it wasn't too bad if I get a thrown sleeping bag and not a brick." Joe shrugs. "Are you two going to stop fighting now?"

"That's what this is about?" Pete pivots on his heels and glares at Andy. "Us arguing? And this would stop that...how?"

"The fuck are you talking about?" Joe asks, frowning. 

Andy shrugs. "I thought maybe you'd realize something."

Pete doesn't know what he's supposed to realize. That Patrick hates Tostitos and peach salsa? That he's a klutz? That Patrick loves him?

Wait. _That Patrick loves him?_

But he's totally getting that. He spins back to Patrick, who does the "what do you mean staring I was staring at this nice wall" routine, but Pete knows what he felt. That was...oh god. 

"Patrick." He says. 

Patrick freezes up. He doesn't say anything. Aloud, that is. 

_I didn't mean to do that._

Pete rolls his eyes. _What did you mean to do?_

 _Well. Actually, that_. Patrick looks to the ground, picking at his jacket nervously. 

Pete smiles a little. _So you meant to do that?_

_Maybe a little._

Their eyes meet and Pete's hit with an even stronger wave of emotion, and he grins. 

_Am I doing it? Because I certainly mean to._

_Yeah_. Patrick nods, offering a small smile in return. _You totally are._

"The hell are they doing?" Joe asks, frowning. 

"Sh. Wait for it." Andy whispers. 

Pete suddenly kisses Patrick, and Patrick leans in before the fact because he knew Pete was going to, wow. 

"I've heard of silent confessions, but..." Joe says, in awe. 

"Hm." Is all Andy says. 

~*~

Three days later, Pete's lounging around and Patrick is in another room. 

Pete puts down his phone. He feels like a bit of an asshole today. 

He concentrates his entire mind on Tostitos, projecting that to whoever can pick it up. (But he knows exactly who will.)

"Fuck you!" Patrick yells from the other room. 

Pete grins.

**Author's Note:**

> save me


End file.
